Northwood Ranch invades Republic of Gus!

This thursday, Northwood's Minister of Cheap Beer and Cheese Pizza will be playing a show at Gus' Pub. Northwood's de facto president/Minister In Charge of Commenting On How the Bathroom Needs a Cleaning will also be on stage at Gus' as a part of the Pop Secret ensemble.

Also on the bill is Zon, a band that is unrelated to the ranch in any way. It is my understanding that Zon is like your mom, except that they have no shame (us), nor do they believe in God (win). If you know what I mean.



B.A. must be stopped. Look at those eyes. Pure evil lives within.

It's Unanimous

Tom Cruise is a complete douchebag.

"Oh my life, what a mess"

So says B.A.

But on the plus side, I have been working on some song ideas for him over the past week. It seems he's had a bit of a writer's block lately, and I offered to assist.

• Victor Syperek: Dick, or Asshole?

• Ex-Girlfriends Fight, Fight For My Love!

• My Dick Is 15" Limp.

• "Have You Read My Lindsay Lohan Fan Fiction Yet?"

• M.I.L.F. (Man, I Love Food)

• Jonathan Frakes Is Doing Voice-Over Commentary For My Real Life Adventures.

• There Is Only One Reason Why I'm Going To See That Dukes Of Hazard Movie.

• It's Probably Too Late For Me To Start Reading The Bible.

The first three ideas came from a late-night brainstorming session I had with the man himself. One or both of us had a few drinks at that point. The remainder were titles/concepts that I felt B.A. should be singing about. I don't know if he'll actually use any of the ideas; certainly not until he finishes his concept e.p. (and he makes fun of me for listening to Genesis. Bah.) So that's where you come in: you need to vote for your favourite song idea/name. Vote often! Let Mr. Johnston know that his adoring crowd wants to hear these ideas come to fruition!